There are some amazing moms out there.  Mom’s that never once get a break in their day.

As moms, our children are the center of our universe and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  But I also can’t imagine not having a break every now and then just to breathe, be free to schedule an appointment, maybe get a mani/pedi, or just take a shower AND dry my hair.  When I was laid off in July, I kid you not, the first thought was not “HOW are we going to pay our mortgage??” (which it should have been according to my hubby).  Instead it was “OMG, what will happen to our nanny!!?!?!”

Now I know there is a lot of heated discussion on being a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom) vs. a working outside the home mom.  I’m not going to get into all the differing opinions here, other than to say BOTH sides need to be commended and deserve an award!  There are pros and cons to both, and neither are easy (as I’ve done both now), and there are very valid reasons for being both types of moms. In the end, what matters is the quality time we do spend with our kids.  Make that time count.

We were very fortunate to find an amazing girl to help us out with Addie last year (did I say last year – dear Lord I still can’t believe they are 11 months apart…)  I STRESSED about going back to work, which at the time was very critical that I did.  I took about 4 weeks off for maternity leave, but then started working from home while we were searching for help.  As I’ve mentioned on the “About Me” page, I was working on a local resort project that was not stopping just because I was having a baby, and I had been on it for 4 years at that point. I wasn’t leaving just when the fun was starting! My boss was unbelievably understanding. I think because of the mutual work ethic we both shared, she knew I would get the job done, and also that I NEEDED to find the right person to be there for our baby girl.

Enter Aly.

When Aly read a line in my first post, “I’m a full time mom, trying my very best to keep it all in balance…..be a great mom, fabulous wife, have a career, personal chef to our family, errand girl, housekeeper, overall CEO, COO, and Executive Assistant of the household.” She walked into work a few days later – “Um, what am I, chopped liver???”  LOL!!  She was right.  I am all of those things, but she is some of them with me, which is a big reason why our house functions!

Aly was a Godsend from the start.  She loves our kids like her own (for 9 hours a day – then I know she’s READY to give them back!) She has an unbelievable patience and child like exuberance with them.  When she first started working for us, I was able to stop by quite often throughout the day/week, and I always entered a happy, playful home!  It was so much easier to be at the office knowing that Addie was in such good hands.  Though I can’t really say that it was easy.  The first time Aly told me she had taken Addie to a music class, I burst into tears!  But I had to look beyond that I had not taken Addie myself, and see that Aly had thought of something really fun for Addie to do.  I loved that she thought like me.

Additionally having Aly at the house made Addie and now Hayden not so “Mommy dependant”.  To this day, I can leave to run errands without having to do the “fadeout”.  We made a point from a very early age to wave “bye-bye” when we left, so Addie really doesn’t react to our being gone as she knows we always come back, (and Hayden follows her sister’s example).

As a working outside the home mom, I LOVED having Aly at home with Addie.  Addie’s awake times were always filled with good times for her, and her nap times were filled with great times for me.  The kitchen was always straightened up, laundry that I had washed was folded and put away, the grocery lists I had left were always complete, birthday gifts wrapped, and if I was REALLY lucky I even got a few “surprises” like a reorganized closet with perfectly folded T-shirts, HEAVEN!  What this all meant was that I could come home and just be a mom to Addie.  And I made that time COUNT.  Because I wasn’t doing all of the house things, I had the energy to give to Addie in the evenings and weekends.

So now that I’m a SAHM, who works in the house.  (I’m new to writing this blog, but still do consultant work).  Aly comes 3 days a week now, instead of 5.  Of those 3 days, I spend 1 full day doing EVERYTHING that has to happen for this blog (and trust me, it’s more than I ever knew!  The learning curve is incredible! I continue to work past midnight each night…) – and Addie and Hayden “visit” me all day long, 1 day is spent running errands, appointments, cooking, house projects, gardening (with only 1, if either of the 2 kids, in tow), and 1 day I do consulting work outside the house.  The other 2 days are fully dedicated, ALL KID days.  It is not easy for us to manage carrying the extra load of a nanny (and we have weighed other options since the budget is so much tighter without my income), but I truly feel that when you’ve found someone that can love your kids as close to as much as you do, and can read your mind and be your right hand, you do what you can to make it all work.

Our girls LOVE Aly, and so do we :-)  My suggestion to you if you do not have help, is to find someone even for a few hours a week, or find a play group one day a week, talk to grandparents and give them “their morning”, trade an hour back and forth with a neighbor or friend.  Knowing that you have a few hours of time for yourself each week helps IMMEASURABLY in running a home.  I assure you, I work (both job and home) NON STOP.  I am lucky to get 4-5 hours of sleep a night, I rarely sit (we have no kitchen chairs, remember?), my “to do” list seems never ending, the girls never stop, and at best I get to wash my hair 3 times a week (not sure how many times I get to dry it), and I had lunch out with my mom today for the first time in MONTHS (I’m sure I’ve just described most of the people reading this).  If I did not have help, I don’t know how it would all happen.  Again I commend all the moms that are doing this 24 x 7!  But for me I know that without my “Right Arm”, I could not be the mom that I am to our family and to our girls.  Having help means that both girls get attention, which at 19 months and 8 months, they both need all day, that all the jobs get done, and that my sanity is kept!

Amen!
P.S. Be sure to check out the Favorites Gallery – Baby, Costco, Trader Joe’s and Home all have new images!  And be sure to stop by on Friday as next week’s menu and shopping list, along with a November “To Do” list will be posted!  (And if you don’t want the headache of always checking back in, subscribe to daily emails at the top of this page!)  Thanks!!

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