getting back to basics

I posted a tweet last Thursday that overwhelmed me with how many responses I received back:

I feel blessed to be able to write this blog.  I love writing this blog. I love “meeting” all of you. My head is filled all day with posts I would love to write and tips I want to share…

I love getting your emails asking for what I actually pack in my diaper bag. How do we travel with all the Littles?  What does your day look like from dawn to dusk? What’s your favorite restaraunt in Dallas?  Do you use a car service or rental cars at airports…..and I try as best I can to answer all these emails, it may be a few weeks (a month…) later sometimes, but I certainly try.  I’m finding however that this newest addition to our lives has rocked my balance somehow.  Don’t get me wrong, Piper is the EASIEST baby that has ever happened to this planet.

This is Piper 90% of the time:

But there is something about the dynamic of my days now that just wont fit back into it’s nice little well oiled machine.  I recently read a post at the SV Orange County Moms Blog by Jennifer S. from Tiny Oranges.  She talked about the need for moms to carve a space out of their days for JUST MOM. I read this and my insides were screaming “I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!!!”

Jen says, “And, what that has meant is I actually have time to THINK again! In fact, the more I got to THINKING about it, the more I realized in the last 3 years and 10 months since my firstborn arrived, I have not had much time to really think!  My days are sooooo busy….always go, go, go!”

I think reading that post is what started my tail spin.  My brain has been in overdrive on how to create a new schedule to make our lives work better.  How to rearrange work days, nanny days, weekends to make things a little easier on my brain and to help our family function best.

Last Sunday, my husband was being the amazing man that he always is.  He was being the pool man, gardner and contractor, all AS FAST AS HE COULD, so that I was not left for too long trapped inside the house with all 3 Littles. To take all 3 somewhere would have taken an act of God, or at least 2 more hands than I have.  My sweet husband saw my look of desperation after a few hours and quickly dropped what he was doing and asked,

“What would make you happiest?  Sitting on the front porch and getting a brake to relax, or fertilizing the plants?” (I kid you not, that was his question.)

I know what he thought I would say, but what I said was,

“Fertilizing the plants.”

It wasn’t that I needed to sit and do nothing, I just wanted a few minutes in the day where there weren’t 6 arms and 6 legs attached to 3 little baby bodies that needed to cling to me.

And then I read this post on the OC Family site by Debbie L. from Peace, Love, and Momminess.  Debbie talks about trying on jeans and where it landed her shortly after.  THAT really hit home with me.

This  was the line that did it, “Where’s the time for you?” Yep. 2 kids. 1 husband. 1 essentially full-time freelance job. 2 sites. 2 blogs. 1 dog. 1 new bunny. 1 house. And 1 spent Mama.

It was the straw that broke my back.

I have thankfully never suffered from Post Pardum Depression.  Though I think my OBGYN is always sure its a strong possibility for me as she is very diligent about asking me “where I’m at” when I see her (which is a lot given the closeness of all my pregnancies).  But if there was going to be a week that might have opened that door it would have been this past one.

I’m sure my weakness is the same as every other mother out there, which is why I’m writing this post.  I want to give MY BEST TO EVERY SINGLE THING I DO in my day, my week, my life.  This does not mean that I want to be the stellar champion of the world, it means that I want to do what I do WELL.

I want to have nice meals on the table for my family, not complicated, just healthy.

I want my kids clothes to be clean, not the nicest brands, just clean.

I want to be a good wife to my husband – be someone he wants to come home to each day and tell him about all the cool things we’ve done.

I want to feel good in my clothes, no need to be a super model, but just FEEL GOOD in what I’m wearing.  Rather than embaressed that I have not showered in a few days and am REALLY feeling frumpy….Piper’s baby weight is gone, but I now have a very stubborn 40 extra lbs from 2 other pregnancies that my body doesn’t recognize as “baby weight”.

I want to write fun and helpful posts for you all, I don’t need to be the next Pioneer Woman (wouldn’t mind it, but its not the goal), I just want to be able to share things that are helpful to all of you.

So because I want to do all of these things and so much more, I’ve had to regroup this past week.

It occurred to me that had I still been working my office job, I would have just returned to work this week.  When you have a C-section, you are not released until 8 weeks.  Piper is 8 WEEKS (which means I’ve been home for 7 weeks).  That time has flown, it feels like 5 months, but it’s only been 8 WEEKS.

For the past 3 years I have done everything I could to juggle everything that I could, a couple weeks ago, my mom watched Piper and our nanny took Addie and Hayden.  It was the first time in 3 years I really got things I WANTED TO DO done.  No one was clinging to me, I wasn’t pregnant therefore could move, I had the entire house to myself to multi task.  IT FELT SO GOOD TO ACCOMPLISH MY OWN LIST!!!

There is a point to this post.  It’s my tip to you.

When you feel overwhelmed, go back to the basics that make you happy.

I know that I can deal with the craziness of life if my room (or home base) is clean.  My mom always knew this, so my bedroom growing up, my dorm room, my first, second, third apartments, etc.  All have been spaces that I loved to retreat to.  I knew as I was starting the tailspin this week that I need to fix my home base.

My closet needed fixing.

Clothes need to be burned.

My office needed reorganizing.

A better system for posts needed to be put into place.

I need to lose baby weight.

So bear with me another couple of days.  When you feel like you are drowning. Stop what you are doing, get back to basics and do what you need to to recharge “Mama”.  If you do not, then you can’t give to anyone because you’ll have nothing left to give.

I will be back on Monday and I will be KICKING!!

Laundry tips….

Organizing tips…

New diet plan (would love to have you join me!)…

Vegetable gardens…

There will be a WHOLE LOT of GOODNESS!!!

Thank you for your patience!!!

19 thoughts on “getting back to basics”

  1. Reading is my way to relax. I make sure to spend time reading every day or every night. And I also made a rule that my girls have to be in their rooms by 7:00 and lights out by 7:30. The rest of the night is for me to watch tv, relax, read, spend time with the hubby.
    .-= Candy @ SoBella Creations´s last blog ..Giveaway Round Up! =-.

  2. So glad you wrote this post. Your honesty speaks to so many Moms who have walked your path. It’s hard, not a whole lot of fun. For me, it was everything you just said, including that sad dark place (ppd) creaping in without a notice completely unwelcomed and overwelmingly hard to make leave. I promise and pray that each day gets a little easier.
    Keep trying to find a little time to take care of Shanna. ((hugs))
    .-= Kathleen Enge´s last blog ..Bartender, “I love Strawberries and I love Vodka”. =-.

  3. So glad you wrote this post. Your honesty speaks to so many Moms who have walked your path. It’s hard, not a whole lot of fun. For me, it was everything you just said, including that sad dark place (ppd) creaping in without a notice completely unwelcomed and overwelmingly hard to make leave. I promise and pray that each day gets a little easier.
    Keep trying to find a little time to take care of Shanna. ((hugs))
    .-= Kathleen Enge´s last blog ..Bartender, “I love Strawberries and I love Vodka”. =-.

  4. My three kids are a bit old then yours, but the busyness does not stop. It does take on a new and different form, but there are still the same feelings. Being pulled in different directions and at the end of the day wishing that you had spent more time talking or loving on a certain child or your husband. Thank you for the reminders to slow down and breath! There are seasons in our lives that we need to take a step back and realize that it is not all going to get done and the house is not going to be perfect. But, the things that matter, our FAMILIES, will still be here! Thank you for your very honest outlook in life. You are an amazing mother and wife!

  5. Love the post! You say the things that most Moms feel and just don’t know how to express. I love reading your blog. Keep up the good work, you are doing an amazing job.

  6. Great post I feel ya! AND remember that 3 month mark??? it is right around the corner and the nights get easier:) I just started sleeping more now that my littles is 13 weeks. And my life is starting to click back in to place ….now only if the big brother would stop teething we could all get some much needed rest. I look up to you and admire your strength, weakness and heart behind everything that you do. You ARE super woman you just don’t put down the cape:)

  7. I SO know where you are at. As I have recently returned back to work, that frantic, not enough time in the day feeling has been my constant companion. And I have just now begun learning to let things go, to tell myself its okay if things are perfect – and actually believe it. This is our role, our job, and for most of us our passion. Thats why there is a day dedicated to us, right! Hang in there, the benefits are well worth the work and resulting struggles.
    .-= Big Boops´s last blog ..I Need a Wine Bong . . . =-.

  8. What a BEAUTIFUL, important post!!! It took me until my baby was 7 months to feel like something had to give, I am so proud of you for taking the steps MUCH earlier to take care of yourself and the things that make YOU happy! I can’t express enough just HOW important it is to carve out time for yourself during the week to take care of yourself. It can be anything, as long as it is just time for you to recharge (without the iPhone!) and do something good for your body & soul…take a walk, pick up Pilates, yoga, meet a girlfriend for coffee, just anything for 1 hour that is just for YOU. You are amazing Shanna, very inspiring, and I am so proud of you for writing about this as I think so many moms out there are trying to be everything to everybody and we forgot about ourselves.
    .-= Jen {Tiny Oranges}´s last blog ..Things that make you go “hmmm…” Part II! =-.

  9. Love your honesty. SO important for all of us to “check in” with what is and isn’t possible often. I’m on check in lots this week ;) Sometimes everything else CAN wait, right. ;) You rock. xo, deb
    .-= Debbie Lavdas´s last blog .."You Are What You Eat" =-.

  10. I was just sitting here wondering about you, the last I had remembered was the tweet.

    You know what? Last week I felt the same way. I kept telling myself this is TOO MUCH there is no WAY I can keep up at this pace because my love for this new hobby I call blogging has CONSUMED me by my own doing! I have ruined any sort of balance I was almost attaining.

    I feel for you I really do… I think I speak for your readers when I say your HIGH QUALITY posts are enough just a few times a week. They are always so thorough and chock full of links and references that you really an sit and digest them for a few days… seriously!
    .-= Lindsey (aka Modchik)´s last blog ..Summer Pappardelle with Tomatoes & Arugula =-.

  11. You hit me at my core with this post, as I am the QUEEN of overburdening myself and killing myself just to keep pushing forward, trying to please everyone, and well, striving for the impossible SUPER MOM nickname and to do it ALL WITHOUT TAKING A BREAK. I’m EXHAUSTED and losing my mind… and I only have 1 little girl(handful, but darling).

    Here I am thinking about having to reschedule our sitter for tomorrow(NOOOOOOOO!!!) who only comes biweekly, because my husband can’t make it home in time for our date night…. well, after reading your post… I think I’m going to take that time for ME. Lord knows, I need it! I have a tendency to feel guilty whenever I need to getaway for ME or do something I enjoy doing, so I am encouraged to say the least.

    I don’t know how you do it, but you are blessed and we (your devoted readers) are blessed to follow along on this crazy cycle we call life with you! Ha! Keep charging ahead and take those breaks, I know I will!

    Thanks for taking the time, Andrea
    .-= Andrea Marshall aka.Haolegirl´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at =-.

  12. Dearest Shanna-
    You know more about horses than I… My first year of motherhood was best described as my breaking year. I had to be broken, like a horse. My wild (ambitions/perfectionist/overachieving) tendencies were tamed. My wanderlust, my spontaneity, my sense of self as a wild (fun? on-it? together?) filly. Broken. I’m a happier woman for it now despite the harsh analogy — facing the music early, fast and hard on my motherhood journey. It wasn’t too painful, and now I know who I am. This is my life now. I love it more than my previous life, and in exchange, I have to perform in a totally different manner. I used to return phone calls. Actually, I used to even just pick the phone up to chat with a friend. I used to RSVP on time, I used to see a project through to completion. But now, a different rhythm, a different beat, a different focus (blurry) prevails. We’re all right there with ya Shanna! We get it – and we can’t imagine how the boat is staying afloat over there. We love you and your wonderful ways! You have A LOT going on. We will fully embrace a wonderful weekly post. Or whatever the heck you want to do. (monthy? :) We love it because you’re fabulous, you’re talented, you’re visionary … you’re Shanna. And you’re now “Mom”. So, Mom-Shanna just does
    “Shanna” in a new, special, and updated way. And we love you just the same – even more so :)
    oxo
    Your friend
    Sally

  13. Thanks for the reminder! We always get caught up and never really remember to keep it simple, breathe and stop trying to be perfect but yet be happy!

  14. A refreshingly beautiful post!! Thanks for sharing your heart. For whatever it’s worth, you ARE the pioneer woman in my book! I love your blog, I am always encouraged, inspired, and amazed at your creativity, your joy, and how you pull it all off! Have a great and restful weekend!! (Where’s that beautiful spa when you need it, right?!)

  15. Still working on my baby weight! But it is so true to need time alone. Even if your doing dishes, sometimes you just need to breathe.

  16. What a great post! Thank you for sharing your thoughts… these are the thoughts that run through so many multi-tasking moms. It is nice to hear that we are all in one way or another in the same boat. We know you’re human and will still read as you re-orgnaize and find the right rythm for your new life with baby #3. God Bless and Good Luck! From a Tardy but always loyal reader,
    Lilli

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