I posted a tweet last Thursday that overwhelmed me with how many responses I received back:
I feel blessed to be able to write this blog. I love writing this blog. I love “meeting” all of you. My head is filled all day with posts I would love to write and tips I want to share…
I love getting your emails asking for what I actually pack in my diaper bag. How do we travel with all the Littles? What does your day look like from dawn to dusk? What’s your favorite restaraunt in Dallas? Do you use a car service or rental cars at airports…..and I try as best I can to answer all these emails, it may be a few weeks (a month…) later sometimes, but I certainly try. I’m finding however that this newest addition to our lives has rocked my balance somehow. Don’t get me wrong, Piper is the EASIEST baby that has ever happened to this planet.
This is Piper 90% of the time:
But there is something about the dynamic of my days now that just wont fit back into it’s nice little well oiled machine. I recently read a post at the SV Orange County Moms Blog by Jennifer S. from Tiny Oranges. She talked about the need for moms to carve a space out of their days for JUST MOM. I read this and my insides were screaming “I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!!!”
Jen says, “And, what that has meant is I actually have time to THINK again! In fact, the more I got to THINKING about it, the more I realized in the last 3 years and 10 months since my firstborn arrived, I have not had much time to really think! My days are sooooo busy….always go, go, go!”
I think reading that post is what started my tail spin. My brain has been in overdrive on how to create a new schedule to make our lives work better. How to rearrange work days, nanny days, weekends to make things a little easier on my brain and to help our family function best.
Last Sunday, my husband was being the amazing man that he always is. He was being the pool man, gardner and contractor, all AS FAST AS HE COULD, so that I was not left for too long trapped inside the house with all 3 Littles. To take all 3 somewhere would have taken an act of God, or at least 2 more hands than I have. My sweet husband saw my look of desperation after a few hours and quickly dropped what he was doing and asked,
“What would make you happiest? Sitting on the front porch and getting a brake to relax, or fertilizing the plants?” (I kid you not, that was his question.)
I know what he thought I would say, but what I said was,
“Fertilizing the plants.”
It wasn’t that I needed to sit and do nothing, I just wanted a few minutes in the day where there weren’t 6 arms and 6 legs attached to 3 little baby bodies that needed to cling to me.
This was the line that did it, “Where’s the time for you?” Yep. 2 kids. 1 husband. 1 essentially full-time freelance job. 2 sites. 2 blogs. 1 dog. 1 new bunny. 1 house. And 1 spent Mama.
It was the straw that broke my back.
I have thankfully never suffered from Post Pardum Depression. Though I think my OBGYN is always sure its a strong possibility for me as she is very diligent about asking me “where I’m at” when I see her (which is a lot given the closeness of all my pregnancies). But if there was going to be a week that might have opened that door it would have been this past one.
I’m sure my weakness is the same as every other mother out there, which is why I’m writing this post. I want to give MY BEST TO EVERY SINGLE THING I DO in my day, my week, my life. This does not mean that I want to be the stellar champion of the world, it means that I want to do what I do WELL.
I want to have nice meals on the table for my family, not complicated, just healthy.
I want my kids clothes to be clean, not the nicest brands, just clean.
I want to be a good wife to my husband – be someone he wants to come home to each day and tell him about all the cool things we’ve done.
I want to feel good in my clothes, no need to be a super model, but just FEEL GOOD in what I’m wearing. Rather than embaressed that I have not showered in a few days and am REALLY feeling frumpy….Piper’s baby weight is gone, but I now have a very stubborn 40 extra lbs from 2 other pregnancies that my body doesn’t recognize as “baby weight”.
I want to write fun and helpful posts for you all, I don’t need to be the next Pioneer Woman (wouldn’t mind it, but its not the goal), I just want to be able to share things that are helpful to all of you.
So because I want to do all of these things and so much more, I’ve had to regroup this past week.
It occurred to me that had I still been working my office job, I would have just returned to work this week. When you have a C-section, you are not released until 8 weeks. Piper is 8 WEEKS (which means I’ve been home for 7 weeks). That time has flown, it feels like 5 months, but it’s only been 8 WEEKS.
For the past 3 years I have done everything I could to juggle everything that I could, a couple weeks ago, my mom watched Piper and our nanny took Addie and Hayden. It was the first time in 3 years I really got things I WANTED TO DO done. No one was clinging to me, I wasn’t pregnant therefore could move, I had the entire house to myself to multi task. IT FELT SO GOOD TO ACCOMPLISH MY OWN LIST!!!
There is a point to this post. It’s my tip to you.
When you feel overwhelmed, go back to the basics that make you happy.
I know that I can deal with the craziness of life if my room (or home base) is clean. My mom always knew this, so my bedroom growing up, my dorm room, my first, second, third apartments, etc. All have been spaces that I loved to retreat to. I knew as I was starting the tailspin this week that I need to fix my home base.
My closet needed fixing.
Clothes need to be burned.
My office needed reorganizing.
A better system for posts needed to be put into place.
I need to lose baby weight.
So bear with me another couple of days. When you feel like you are drowning. Stop what you are doing, get back to basics and do what you need to to recharge “Mama”. If you do not, then you can’t give to anyone because you’ll have nothing left to give.
I will be back on Monday and I will be KICKING!!
New diet plan (would love to have you join me!)…
There will be a WHOLE LOT of GOODNESS!!!
Thank you for your patience!!!